edisi Nur Islam : Nukilan Keinsafan

Ini nukilan copy paste tapi it's exactly the kind of thing how i feel right now.

Kuasa Allah sungguh menginsafkan.

Sesungguhnya kita wajar mengambil keinsafan dengan kebesaran kuasa Allah time kita memperoleh kebaikan daripadaNya berbanding time diturunkan musibah. Alangkah baiknya sebegitu. Tetapi manusia lemah dan lupa. Kesenangan hidup menjadikan manusia lebih jauh dari sumber yang memberi, Allah. Mintak jauh la..huhu

YA ALLAH DULU AKU ANGKUH DI BUMI-MU.

Alhamdulillah.
Hidayah-Mu mematahkan keangkuhanku,
Membangunkan sifat malu,
Yang selama ini tersorok dalam diri,
Kutundukkan pandanganku,
Yang selama ini meliar!
Kutimbulkan kekeliruan pada teman-teman,
Kutempis segala teguran sinis,
Kutekadkan dalam kalbuku.

Bahawa. Aku mahu berubah!

Ya Allah,
Jika dulu aku lalai dalam menunaikan hak-MU,
Terleka dengan duniawi,
Terkadang kuabaikan ukhrawi,

Subhanallah,
Sesungguhnya kekuasaan-Mu yang paling Agung,
Kau sedarkanku di saat aku hanyut,
Masih tak terlambat,
Untuk suatu perubahan,
Kuakur pada kekuasaan-Mu.

Lantas,
Kulaungkan dalam hatiku,
Aku mahu berubah!

Ya Allah,
Kupohon hidayah-Mu,
Duhai ayahanda dan bonda,
sahabat-sahabat,
serta teman-teman...

Bantulah daku,
Bimbinglah daku,
Dalam mencari,
Cinta yang paling Agung,
Cinta yang Esa...

Sesungguhnya.
AKU MAHU BERUBAH!

Wallahu a'lam...

Edisi Cinta: Feeling Given Up..and Beaten Down

Assalamualaikum

Lama x update pasal lack of time.
Project tengah berjalan..huhu
Tapi i have la few words nak cakap what i feel right about now.
After almost over 12 years of my adult life, i have been dating many girls.
And now, what i'm actually feeling is

Given Up..!
Beaten Down..!

Emotionally of course. Aku rasa i wont ever be a good boyfriend.
Asek wat pompuan nangis.
Been called 'hati kering'.
Been lectured 'woman need this,women need that'.
Basically a lecture about 'Women 101'.
And yet after 12 years, i still don't get women.
And never will be a good boyfren to someone.

Aku malas sms.
Jarang lagi nak bergayut.
And sebab ini, aku bergaduh.
Trust me, almost my entire dating life for 12 years, this had been a constant subject of my fight.
Almost THE ONLY thing i've been fighting about.

Aku bagi macam2 alasan and sometime alasan yang kdg2 borderline menipu tuk cover the fact yang i'm just very lazy untuk sms and call.
Don't know but every women i dated don't accept the fact yang mmg aku malas sms and call.

Walaupon aku dah mention kata aku malas sms/call even before the relationship started, yet bende ni jugak yang di demand untuk aku buat in the middle of the relationship sampai wat gaduh.
Aishh..
Aku try berubah and yet, never satisfy or ianya bersifat sementara.
So aku rasa, this is my fate.
I will never compatible to any women to be a boyfriend.

I know and well aware of my weakness ni.
I try tuk redeem myself dengan give enjoyable date every weekend or time we get.
And yet that one weakness always menjadi isu regardless of anything else..
Apparently sms and call everyday tunjukkan you love someone.
Adeh!
Aku call mak/abah aku pon sebulan sekali pon tidak and yet i love them dearly.
X caye, tanyelah diaorg sendiri.
Itulah kecacatan aku. Huhu
Try berubah pon org still nampak kecacatan tu sebagai bende pertama.
Basically, no amount of lecture can help. In fact lecture tu yg wat lagi damaging.

Now i feel like being in the relationship is like a full time job.
Constant nagging you have to hear about the sameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thing for you to change.
And i am tired.
I wish i am in the 80's where you only communicate only by bergayut kat public phone and the surat yang disembur perfume..huhu
Terfikir jugak, jika using only that medium can make people of the past bahagia and berfamily bagai, why not us?

For me, it's the quality chit chat that matters bukannya constant empty msg abt 'dah makan?,watpe?' everyday.
And yet after 12 years of looking, never have i found that kind of relationship.
Sumenye demand sms/call everyday.
Kalau lambat sms, kena lecture and tuduh macam2. Gaduh2.
Even psl kedit zero pon kena tuduh mcm2.

T-I-R-E-D!!!

Aku seriously dah malas nak date sape2.

Single sampai mati ke?
entah..Wallahualam.

Sebab?
I won't ever be a good boyfren.

And is this anything to with the girl?
No. She's the best girl i had. This is entirely my decision pasal aku removing myself from the dating scene pasal mmg aku dah x bertenaga.
Dah tak layak nak dating someone.
A defect you may call that must be remain away from getting another girl hurts and menangis merana psl x sms/call.
She deserves better than what i am now..

.
.
.
.
.
.

Be a good husband perhaps someday?
I dont know..Maybe yes pasal xkanlah dah duk serumah still nak gaduh psl sms and call kan.
Insyaallah someday although i doubt it coz before being a good husband,apparently you have to be a good boyfriend dulu.
Doakan lah yang terbaik.Huhu..

Edisi SiaSia: Tertangkap Gambor Antu kat Atas G.Ledang?

Assalamualaikum and apa kabar?

Sonok tak tengok gambar aku g Ledang?
Huhu..Sorilah kalo gambar x banyak.
Aku malas gali beg aku amek kamera nak peramek gambo2 kat atas sana tu.
Yelah..Keletihan kan.X menang tangan lak tu..huhu.
Nak tengok lagi jenguk lah Pesbook aku yek..
Tapi dalam banyak-banyak gambar,ade gambar yang aku tertangkap buat aku gusar dah gelisah.
Seriously aku x tau kenape gambar aku jadi camtu coz while taken it,it was a clear morning.

Ceritanya begini...
Aku n my fren Apit kena kerah amek air kat water source.
Memang kawasan ni agak terpencil lah dari kawasan budak2 lain berkumpul.
Nak ke sini kena jalan sikit ke bawah.
Sampai guide pon malas okeyh nak tunjuk kami jalan the whole way.
Tunjuk gitu2 jek..Huhu
Memang time tu kami berdua jek.
Memang macam heaven jek kawasan ni coz pokok2 dia cantik and kawasan pon cam sejuk jek .
Tak macam kawasan lain in the whole ledang.
Jalan2 sampai jumpalah satu water source.
Namanya Telaga Majapahit kot..something like that la.
Tempat ni dalam gua kecik. Ni bawah gambor gua tu...
Angker dak?hahah..Biasa jek sebenarnye bagi aku.


Aku nak amek gambar pathway yang cukup santek bagi aku while Apit mengambek air.
Dah selesai,kami naik atas balik dengan air bergendongan.
Siap kena gelak lagi ngan guide tgk kami kepenatan turun semata nak amek air dua botol..huhu

Pastu aku belek2 balik gambar yang aku snap kat bawah tu.
Tup-tup, ade pic ni..



Agak2,ape ek putih2 tu?
Seriously, time tu tadak lak kabus lalu kat situ.
Aku just amek gambar denai cantik jek tetibe klua lak gambar mcm ni..
Huhu..
Sape yang kenal aku ni tau,aku ni begitu cynical when it comes to ghost stories or anything like that.
Bagi aku,majalah Mastika tu hanyalah warkah kaki2 penipu je.Hahah!
So i am not making this up and i am not paranoid.
I believe there's some explanation behind this picture other than some entity wat photobomb.
Just for your reference lah, aku kepil gambar what an actual fog(kabus) looks like. Nah!



Lagi satu yang pelik, orang lain yang amek air mcm terlepas pandang ngan gua ni tapi kami je yang amek air kat situ.
Depa yang lain amek air kat gua depan lagi.
Seolah-olah depa ni x pasan entrance masuk gua majapahit tu.
Misteri,misteri....Nak selubung misteri pon selubung lah orang lain..
Aku akan pikir scientific explanation jugak pon..hoho! (bUkan cakap besar ek)
Silalah bagi pendapat kalo korang ade idea pebende putih tu..huhu

Edisi Cuti : Trip Camping Gunung Ledang

Assalamualaikum and apa kabar?

Some of you may know yang last weekend aku gi gunung ledang kat Tangkak, Johor
To think this was just a plan i came up with after plan Tioman tak jadi pasal ramai orang tarik diri.huhu.
The experience sangatlah best.
Glad my fitness was prepared so xdelah pancit sangat.
Kira group yang tengah2 la sampai.
Nak kejar group depan mmg payah coz diaorg mmg berkaki panjang and experienced climbers.huhu.
Camping satu malam je but think that was enough la kan.
Satu hari ke kaki bukit, satu hari ke puncak and turun.
Bayar around Rm70 sorang for packed lunch, sijil,guide and few other park and management fees.
And there were 27 of us. Ramai kan.
Suka sangat aku tengok plan kami sukses!
Aku punya part responsibilities agak banyak ler gak.
Bendaharilah aku, logistik lah aku sampai barang makan pon aku kena g soping.
Hmmm,sempat gak lak tunjuk skill marinate ayam bbq tuk malam camping.Heheh.
First time aku wat keje2 marinate bbq ni.
Lagi satu, aku kena angkut dapur masak naik atas.
That thing weigh quite a lot la weyh..
Tercungap2 aku bawak bende tu naik atas.
Dengan x menang tangannya.huhu.Dengan hujan and jalan licin lagi.
Aku malas nak cite panjang lah sini.
Cite thru pictures jek so enjoy!
Holiday ni aku consider highly recommended la pada sape yang adventerous and leh maintain rock and cool.
Pada yang girly2 and cerewet tu aku rsa,toksah ler :P
Yang lemah and xde stamina actually leh je join tapi mmg kena tingkatkan endurance ler before naik tu.
Aku rate holiday kali ni sebagai 4 stars out of 5!



Nak cover perut boroi tu tapi still nampok..huhu


menara sebelah puncak ledang ni mcm berantu lak..sekejap nampak,sekejap idak..tp lawa!

Keletihan tapi sempat tersenyum untuk kodak moment
Sebelah tempat aku bergambar ni gaung dalam worh..tu psl x berapa kena aku berdiri..GAYAT!

Boroi siyot!

Pemandangan atas puncak...Maveles!

While orang lain okay je lalu sini, aku teramatlah gayat.Geletar kaki coz dah terang, aku nampak segala gaung and 1001 cara aku leh mati kat situ..HUhu

Sunrise...Gojes!



Tapak kami dirikan khemah..Okay sgt..Lapang and sebelah sungai bersih..


Sungai sebelah camp site.. Santek sgt!


Ikan kat sungai ni sungguh jinak.. Gigit kaki mcm fish spa. Leh bagi makan mcm penternak ikan keli yang berjaya gik. Heheh


The leader in our group and segala macam makanan yang perlu dibawa ke atas gunung.

Penat x kacau aku tuk tersengih for kodak moment!


Sebelom naik kat kaki gunung sume muka berkobar-kobar..

Selepas, kat atas puncak sumenye muka keletihan tahap bagak..Sekor dua je kat belakang tu yg excited lebih..hahah

Edisi Random: Terima Kasih Ayam Belanda Sejuk!

Yes..Aku bukak facebook aku kembali.
Ini pasai Ledang la.
Bulih org tag2 gambor, add friend bagai teman2 sependakian.
Tapi entah ngape walaupon aku punya notification berpuluh2 tapi aku malas nak check one by one unlike dulu.
Kalo dulu aku yang wat notification kat orang.
Komen itu,komen ini..
Adekah my addiction to facebook completely gone?
Has 3 weeks of no facebook realy made a difference?
Bulih tahan gak kalo quit cold turkey ni.
Always the best way to go..!
That's also how i quit my smoking habit..
What's next?
Banyak lagi habit yang x baik dlm diri aku ni so ayam belanda bakal menyejukkan diri kembali.
Insyaallah!

Edisi Sembang : Marilah kita berEnglish Edukesyen!!!

Arini day aku started and RUINED by Subway Taipan USJ.
Huhu..
Seriously, before this aku senang je order my subway.

I want it toasted without the cheese melted.

I took my order slalunya from non-malay kot before this.
They easily understand, 'with cheese,not melted' and i got my order right,no problem.
Tapi arini lain story..
Sume depan counter orang melayu lak.

Aku cakap ngan malay guy #1 mcm tu, dia x letak cheese aku lak.
huhu
Maybe dia ingat aku cakap 'no cheese'.

Pastu malay guy #2 lak, lagi sengal.
X paham apa maksud 'melt'!...
Melt?
Dia ingat melt=toast so dia x masuk dalam toaster la roti aku.
Sampai 3 kali dia tanya aku..

Melt?
Melt?
Melt?
Toast?
ooo..no toast!OK


Aku malas nak argue psl beratur panjang kat belakang aku.
Plus,malay guy #2 ni buat muka 'angkat kening' mcm aku ni very hard to understand..
Very NO-NO la in my book in term of customer service ni.
Aiyoo...Kalo wat muka mcm tu,aku malas lah nak layan.

So arini dapatlah aku makan subway kejung and sejuk psl pekerja2 ni x paham ape maksud 'melt'.
Seriously there's something wrong ngan Malay yang malas sangat nak put effort tuk belaja English.
I still remember time sekolah rendah aku BI slalu failed.
My bro and sis always ejek my english teruk..huhuh.
But aku niat berubah.
Put effort once aku masuk High school Klang.
Aku kat asrama speaking walaupon broken pon.
Sampai kena ejek, 'ko ni speaking prong,prang,prong,prang bukan betul pon!'
Kalo yang panggil aku poyo toksah kira la..Lg ramai..huhu
Kalo aku g library,aku pinjam buku english..
X paham pon aku baca pahamkan.Tengok kamus bagai
Sampaikan penah tu my english penah tanya in class what quality in a friend that u seek.
Aku kena jawab berdir with the whole class waiting for my answer.

Mmhmmm...CLEVER?

Yes, that was the only word i could think of. 'Clever'!.
Padahal banyak lagi words yang aku leh choose.Honesty, helpful,loyal,etc...
Huhuh..Aku malu tapi that didnt bring me down.
Aku keep my quest tuk at least tgk entire movie tanpa any help from subtitle.
Baca paper omputih tiap hari sampaikan 'Malay Mail' tu jadi paper feveret aku dulu(skrg dah bangkrap kot,Huhu)
Alhamdulillah, the result years later boleh aku cakap 'berjaya' walaupon not entirely.
SPM BI A, kat universiti paper english 'BEL' tu mmg paper dapat A dalam genggaman.
To think, BEL always tulun mg CGPA kasi jadi cantek sikit..huhu

How did i get there?
Practice,practice,practice..
I didn't born with it.
My family don't speak english pon around the house.
And among my friends, takde pon speaking bagai.
So please lah ummah melayu.
Jangan rasa english tu mcm bahasa orang riak.
It is not. It's a neccessity.
If anything, you are at the losing end pasal x reti speaking.

Just my rambles of the day..

Edisi Kerja :Alamak! Role Baru Aku kat Office

Hallu and salam frens!

Sape kenal aku mesti tau aku ni pemalu orangnya..
Tapi who knew i get the chance to be a project manager.
Yes..you heard me right!
PROJECT MANAGER!
And this project will be the evaluation of my KPI so no excuse to slack off.
Walaupon i act as a PM for a small scale project, the pressure still the same.
3 bulan ihave to complete the project.
Dahla kena jadi PM, kena wat coding jugak okeyh!
So far i've been a a PM for almost a week.
I do see areas that needed improvement.

First: My weakness to speak with higher management.
Biggest problem! Aku easily intimidated with people with higher rank/power or superior in any way.
Certainly pasal my lack of confidence.
I am trying my best to solve this problem tapi dunno how.
Kadang-kadang aku dengar orang cakap about themselves like this...

'Memang aku ni macam ni. Nak wat camne. Xleh ubah so orang lain xleh judge la.Lagi pantang kalo suruh berubah. No way! I'd rather be like this forever.'

- Si Polan

Bila aku dengar orang cakap macam ni, aku sentap.
Pasal the issue is very close to my heart as i've been trying to solve the same problem all my life.
Yes, there's been improvement i had accomplish.
Ask any of my past friends, they would say i've improved a lot.
So i know deep down in my heart, i can do it.
Buang orang yang had been holding me back so much tu.
My inner self yg suka soalkan diri.
Insyaallah, niat baik Allah always akan tolong.

Second:Technical and programming skill

For obvious reason lah kan..
Kompom kena naik taraf skill aku..
Bayangkan in barely 10 months aku jadi programmer and wat coding bagai, tetibe kena jadi PM lak.
Kadang2 segan lah kan my team tanya pasal itu ini tapi aku x reti jawab.


Third: My English

Although not so bad but still kena improve

Fourth: Time management

The crucial thing to improve.
Target aku nak finish the project way earlier than scheduled so AJA AJA FIGHTING!

Fifth: Lack of Focus

Yes.I am easily distracted. Kalo ade FB ke, forum ke, aku cepat je lekat..hoho!

Sixth: Creativity and Imaginative

Yerp. Ini antara paling payah skill tuk aku dapatkan. Bayangkan betapa sakit hati kalo
your brain don't even thought of a solution to a simple problem. Being a problem manager,
ideas and solution is basically all coming from your vision so nak xnak, this skill is a must!

Agak2 ape lagi yang aku kena improve ek?
Huhu............