When September Ends....

hi..salam



Few updates of my life. Kerja sekarang alhamdulillah dah getting better and okay. I'm pretty much proud the progress i got so far in my career. Never once i imagined myself doing programming before for a career. I always imagined myself doing IT support rather than programming. I was pretty much a grade A student when it comes to programming language. Tapi bila berdepan dengan projek that i need to develop using the methodologies i have learnt in all the programing subjects, aku jadi kalut.
So in my case, my programming skill was pretty much theoritical rather than practical. That was then. Now, I am getting better. It's true what my friends in IT programming field said. You learn by doing and gain broader understanding by experimenting. I am glad i took
the step of quitting from Scope to proceed into a new field which I love doing!



However, malangnya not all fine and dandy. I think my lovelife is crumbling into pieces once again. I've lost the willpower to even fight an arguement now. I don't know whether that is me adapting with our constant and same argument. Or maybe it's just me losing hope in our relationship. Right now she's ignoring me and i decide to do the same. In fact that was her
last request. Even though I kinda feel stupid posting a love song in her FB page. It was ignored so I took it down. I kinda wish she sees the progress I made in my sms habit (yes, that is what we always fight about). But it was never enough to even called a progress. And
this always make her sad and unhappy. It breaks my heart to see her unhappy. So now only time will heal.Or maybe not ever.
All i know, I've lost hope. And yes. It has been sweet. At least for me.

Something of a Reminder To All When It Comes to Our Ego!

This is an improvised entry taken from http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/6-ways-your-ego-will-kill-your-relationship/1668/. Credit to the guy!

It's great that we have found our true love, but it’s equally critical to maintaining and continually improving a relationship once you’re already in it. Killing it is even easier! Nothing will kill a relationship more quickly than ego. Here are some points to look at what I mean.

1. Resist The Temptation To Defend Yourself

How many times you’ve fought with a significant other, and whenever things get a little heated yoAll you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “defending yourself” mode. u start to defend yourself? Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s really happening is your ego is defending itself.

At the same time it also means that you’ve stopped listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending yourself? It will almost always create a MUCH better outcome.

From my past relationship, I took this road more often than not. Ask all my past girlfriends and they would all agree. It speaks for who i was and still am. I am worst when someone pass judgment on me and worst of all, they're right on the money. So I defended myself at all cause. Even with a hurtful comebacks. I would be great lawyer I supposed but I'll be a greater demon when it comes to a relationship. Huhu.

2.Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation

The truth is that no matter how much hope for a good conversation with your significant other, your ego is the one thing that will consistently ruin any conversation you’re about to have if you let it.

Let’s say your significant other is frustrated with you in one way or another and really needs to express something about that to you. How do you respond? If you let your ego get involved and you defend yourself, it means that you’re not listening to them.

In order to really listen to somebody, it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes your significant other has things that are really bothering them about which they want to talk to you, but which you would rather not hear. To maintain a great relationship, however, you can’t let your ego keep you from really listening.

2. Dropping The Ego Doesn’t Mean You Need To Change Who You Are

It can take a lot for you to drop the ego, really listen to your significant other and realize that they need you say something in a different way or understand how the way you communicate may make them feel a certain way. A lot of people misunderstand these kind of requests as being their significant other’s attempt to change them. It’s not.

They’re not trying to change you, they are trying to improve the way you communicate with each other. They are trying to get the two of you to be able to communicate better than you ever have in the past. Don’t let your ego get in the way. Embrace this!

3. Ego Causes Those 'Cakap Lepas' Which Are The Biggest Relationship Killers

Do you get frustrated when you’re having an argument with a significant other? Of course, we all do. When that happens, though, sometimes the ego will cause you to hurl 'Cakap Lepas' at the other person.

You’re feeling hurt, so you lash out and say something you know will make the other person hurt too. It was not only hurtful, but inevitably something stupid. By listening to your significant other, instead of lashing out from your ego, you can get through an argument without these low blows and they will be much more constructive (and not destructive to your relationship).

Often happen with my significant other. From dulu2 till now. I give you one HARMLESS example. While waiting for a traffic light with my girlfriend in her car, i mistakenly put the gear into Neutral instead of Drive. The car went backward for like 2 seconds and almost hit the car behind us because we were upwards the hillside. Lucky i managed to hit the brake but those 2 seconds i was sorta like dreaming. Then my gf yelled and my ego straight to defensive mode rather than admit to my mistake. You know what i said? Your car have a malfunction brake and the neutral gear didn't hold our car. How stupid was I?

So the next time you see your ego getting involved in your relationship, get rid of it! If you find yourself defending yourself or not allowing you to really listen, then you need to take a step back. Listen carefully to what’s really being said, and use it to create the most amazing relationship. If you're reading this and the ego get in the way to improve yourself, then get a shrink ASAP! :P

Blog Yang Kegersangan.

Waduh,waduh! Lama benar ditinggali blog gue ini..hahah

Bukan ape. JAdi malas coz wifi tadak and 3G lembab. Huhu. So much had happened and so much thing to share, dunno how to compile all of them. I will be back in a couple of days for more updates.

Sekarang ni just rasa nak luah satu bende. Kenape perempuan suka complicate things dengan silence treatment? Does it help in any way?

Yes, it's like the official way for women to channel what they feel to their spouse but why?

Hmm...Maybe mereka buat begini dengan harapan the guy gets it magically. Yes, sometime it works tapi often not so lucky.

This is how my mum and dad broke their marriage. They were mad about some little thing at first. Then came silence treatment. Maybe masing-masing ego so melarut sampailah well, they separated few years later. Leh bayang dak duk rumah sekali and x pernah bercakap dekat setahun lebih. The silence become so toxic, they couldn't even be in the same room even together. Now all good coz memasing dah bahagia dengan pasangan masing2. Alhamdulillah.

So lesson learnt, communicate! It's what makes relationship works! Be it in spoken words, sms, calls, email or Skype. If x puas hati about something, bawak ler berbincang bukan wat silence treatment hoping the guy gets it. It's great if the guy gets it but what if we dont? We guys become lost and the girl stay mad? Does it help in any way? Someone please explain. Huhu.

In my case, it's a dejavu all over again. Truth be told, even thought of what if i was single again. Seriously, i am too old too figure all these out again. And surprisingly, i was ready to accept. Pisang berbuah first time so bitter, i do not need it the second time around. So acceptance was the final answer. Nothing's wrong with that.

Few Quotes to Define (or Work for) Your True Love

Are we really that different from our companion? From our partner? From our spouse?
This are all quotes from my friend posted on her Facebook wall a while ago.

"We never get a person of our type in this world. It's either we have to Adjust or Compromise."

Is there something wrong with this quote? I myself would totally agree with it. However, for most people this is the main reason they broke up. "Irreconcile Differences' the Hollywood stars call it.

"You never know when you will meet your perfect match, always be yourself so that he/she can recognize the "real" you even from a distance..."

However there's a fine line between compromising and being yourself. Don't give up everything about yourself just to fulfill your spouse definition of a perfect match. You'll ended up lost and losing yourself to something that may not even perfect after all.

"Everyone wants what they can't have. But if you begin to love what you have, you won't need anything else."

Then comes settling with what you have love and grown to acceptence. Truthfully speaking, this is the easiest thing to do and you may ended up happily ever after just by doing this. However, being human we never satisfied with what we have. Sigh...

Smiling is not a way to hide a broken heart but rather, it is a way to hold on to whatever happiness is left.

But when there are hard times, sometimes the best thing to do is smiling. Trust me, it may not help anything with your loved one but it helps maintaining the positivity energy between all the bad aura during the heat of a time.

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In the end, sometimes you can do so much. Then comes this

"When someone is so sweet to you, don't expect that they will be like that all the time, because even the sweetest chocolate expires."

Yes, love sometimes does expire.

The Last Time

Ini adelah post yang the last aku akan wat kepada my so-called love

What was i thinking? Aiya. It's true love blinded you and i am glad i get my sight back. Hello world....However at least i felt it. I have experienced how was it being loved very deeply by someone so many times before. And now i have felt how was it to deeply love someone.

I gotta say, love someone is much, much more better than being loved by someone because you will be the loneliest guy/girl in the world if you stay in a relationship where you hold on to someone who loves you more than you do. Trust me.

So because i love my ex, i had let her go happily because i know she would be so lonely staying with me. So aku dah redha and very grateful for the experience even dia x cinta aku pon. Coz perasaan ni datang secara spontan. Aku x ingat sejak bila aku jatuh cinta kat dia dah but i'll never forget the rush of loving someone. It was better than sex? No, no. It was better than chocolate la i might say.

To think, it was a gift. Yes it was. Who would have thought i can feel how was it to love someone. And now i am looking for a greater gift. A girl that i very much in love with and also she feel the same way like i do.
Hard?Yes!
Impossible? Maybe.
Positive? Definitely :)

So a very big thanks to the girl that i love tu. Don't worry. It will heal overtime so expect us to be buddies anytime soon. :) And i also like to say that i fall in love with this girl's family the soon i met them.Each one of them. Too bad jodoh saya and dia and keluarganya x berpanjangan. Any guy would be lucky to have this girl and her family. All the best to both of us.

ps: Time aku marah psl this breakup, aku karock lagu Katy Perry- Hot n Cold and been listening to Grenade by Bruno Mars .Very dead on. Hahah. Now that i have come to terms, aku tujukan lagu Pelamin Anganku Musnah. Boleh? HAHAH. No lah. Since we didn't have any song, my default mode chose this song.

Goodbye by Michelle Branch. Lagu ni aku suka sejak dari zaman sekolah lagi.

Harini Hari Bersejarah

Harini aku baru tersedar yang i have two hearts. I mean seriously. I literally feel like i have been living with two hearts all these time. Well, at least for the last few months or so. Is it biologically possible? You'll know the answer if you try being me now.

Unfortunately, the other pair is being taken away by someone. By someone who put it there in the first place. Now i feel how bad it is living with that void. How bad it is when you are 'happily living with two hearts', someone claim it back like it means nothing to you. It's like giving a kid a candy and after a few licks, they take it back with force. And worst of all, with no reason whatsoever being given why.

And then , you heard the most painful thing u hear your entire life. 'I don't love you anymore.' Who knew i could produce tears for that simple and yet hurtful sentence. In front of a dark shoplot in Kota Damansara, history repeats itself. I am single again. T_T

Not even pleas can win her back. Not even melalak berkarok in the karokay jamban can ease the heartache. The day started with a good short phone call with the HR people and ended with a breakup sms. Memang hari bersejarah. And sakitnya hati siapa yang cipta sms ni. It is the worst way to ask for a break up people. It's like you are nothing. You worth 3 cents!

Aku akur. Kepada sesiapa yang membaca maybe tergelak suka tengok aku miserable. Maybe someday aku sendiri akan tergelak balik tengok entry kali ni. Aku pon bukan slalu share pasal my love-life but with the lack of outlet to pour my heart out, my blog came to the rescue. Now i always gonna remember that she's not that into you. It was true back then when it all started and still hold true when she broke things up from you today.

Ya Allah, kalo inilah ujian yang disampaikan sebagai panggilan untuk aku repent, aku akur.
Hope tomorrow be a better day although i doubt it.
Sungguh rasa begitu sedih bende ni terjadi after aku buat poem budak-budak in the previous post.
But i'm not gonna delete the stupid poem because someday it will remind me how I was so in love with this girl even though i meant nothing to her. Only time heals and here i am wishing for the best.

ps: Tak terniat aku nak jaja kat orang kisah cinta aku tapi i really need to pour my heart out somewhere. Pasal aku dah berkarok sampai macam ayam jantan pon still rasa sedih. I admit i feel better now that i'm sharing it here.

D-O-W-N 4 L-O-V-E

Kenape dah terangan tapi still terhegehan,
Kenapa kalut berangan untuk mengejar bayangan,
Sangkakan kayangan tapi hujan berpanjangan.
Pikir semula, adakah ini namanya balasan?

I deserve to be happy,
and yet selalu makan hati,
Sangkakan tertulis sampai mati,
Tapi inilah maknanya syok sendiri.


Slalu mengalah tak mau berbalah,
Harapkan indah tapi bagaikan sepah,
Yang menjadi teman tong sampah.
worst of all, aku tak kisah.

Katanya hati slalu dibelenggu,
Maybe being with me membawa malu,
Dude, give it up! She's not that into you T_T
Tapi apakan daya, ME so deeply in love with YOU ^_^

karya hati of yours truly di malam hari ~~
Alangkah baik Ana Rafali dapat nyanyikannya :P

Kalau Kekasih Hati Kerja Di Tempat Yang Sama

Another story, another post..

Saje nak wat observation kat sini. Not in a million years would i imagine found my other half in the office. Maybe for the fact most of my officemate are Indian be it in Profitera KD, IMU or Scope. In fact, my sister and her boyfriend last year were working together at the same place. I keep saying to her, how would that work? I assumed they must had share their lunch together and carpooled together to work. An yes they did. Finally they gone separate ways, career-wise of course. She stays there while the guy works as gov. PTD now.

However a different story in my case. Better keep that to myself. Another COLD case i'm not willing to share in here. Huhu. But here is a hint. I emphasize a word up there. I think that sums the whole thing up. :P

Current mood: So damn COLD morning. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr..........

Berbalas Blog Part 2

Another hupdate, hadap je lah ek :P

Sambung neh...

Tibe2, datang la another makcik plak. To my surprise, the reaction from the whole family was odd. It was like, 'sampai dah,aduh'. X kisahlah. KAsik tambah meriah why not. Aku lagi suka kalo meriah2 gini.

Lupa nak cite about the food. Ade roti jala+kari ayam. Sedap kari ayam tu. Very pekat. Just the way i like it. And then mee sup. Walaupon pakai bebola ayam je camne leh jadi sedap ek? ntahler. Resipi turun temurun agaknya. Ehh.Zaman dulu2 ade ke ayam ball?Hahah. Then aku try sume kuih raya kat umah tu. Yup.Aku kao datang beraya wajib test satu persatu kuih raya. Mak aih. MEmang umphh rasa home baked tu. Tempah sedozen tin la taun depan. HAhah.

Sambung gik. Aku masuk ler bilik awek aku. Jangan pikiaq bukan2 erk. Nak solat ler. Mak aih. CAm bilik budak sekolah ler pulak. Adakah ini the same girl i'm dating. Yang macam minah Emo itu? Ngan Spiderman, poster artis.Hahah. Maybe bende2 tu boleh bawak dia lena kot. Sukati lor. X kaco aku pon.Ahaks..

Afterwards, Sembang2 ngan pakcik Khairudin plak merangkap bapaknya. Story2 pasal kucing, pasal rumah kena pecah, macam2 lagi lah. Banyak gak citer. Aku memang suka dengar cite2 ni. Citer2 gosip cinta je yang aku lemau nak dengar.Hahah. Then tibe2 my girl sape kata dah kul 6.15. Mak aih. Have to be at the office at 7. Better move on. Dalam rushing2 tu sempat gak bagi duit raya and said goodbye to the folks. Kenalah beradab okay. Ngeh,ngeh. But tengah dalam keta tu terpikir plak aku kurang bercakap ngan maknya. Aunty Liza. Mmmmhm.Maybe next time bulih kot bercerita panjang. My girl said she's pretty much like her mom so better learn from her la serba serbi.hehe.

Overall, it was pleasant visit. Everyone was fun. Adik was kinda like a riot while Abby was, well,got teased a lot. This whole family reminded me of my own family 10-15 years ago when the whole family gathered around together during weekend and joked around. Not anymore la skrg. But once in while time special occasion, meriah gak ler. Yelah. Sepuluh adik beradik ngan adik tiri gik,few toddlers...Mana x meriah!!!


Okay. Aku nak story takat tu ajelah. Story pasal dia visit umah abg aku,aku cite lain. Aku nak makan ABC aku plak ni. Beli tadi x makan gik. Kang cair, jadi Air Basi plak. Hahah. Chiao!!

Current mood : Nyamuk ni wat kacau!!! Tekanan!!!

Berbalas Blog

Another Sunday,another fun day,another new post :)

Mesti ade yang terpikir2 kenapa post arini tajuknya 'Berbalas Blog'. Heheh. Saje nak highlight the subtlety. Actually aku tadak idea nak wat post apa today although a lot have been happening to me this week. Tapi since today is Funday(reads Sunday), decide nak wat posting biasa2 jek. Therefore, decide to go to my girl's blog and get any inspiration for my latest post. Since dia story pasal our 'first step' recently and a little too brief if u ask me,aku pon decide nak share the same story. Although mine me be a little long and in details coz i feel quite generous today. HUAAA

Last Saturday
Actually sebelum this day went, i was kinda looking into any plans for the weekend. Yes,last weekend had to go to the office coz ade deployment. So ingat nak wat plan the following day tp my girl xnak plak. Apparently she didn't like to go out on Sunday. Nak berehat katanya. So dia came up with the idea of a Raya visit to her house. Since aku rasa mcm pernah kata nak datang umah beraya to her and meet her parents, i guessed i should go. It's now or later. But later when plak coz another weekend,it's not Syawal anymore. So from the moment then until the following day, i was nervous the whole time. Thought i was the only one but i felt my girl also was feeling the same. Kept changing this and that and all along asek reassuring betul ke aku mau datang or not. Hahah. In my mind the whole time i thought, why not. Even though i've dated a lot of girls but this was maybe my first time i met the parents.

Mula2 sampai, my gf ngajak g kedai plak beli sayur mayur. X jejak kaki dlm umah agi dah ajak tamu g pasar. X ke pelik. Apparently x cukup bahan. HAahha. Xpelah. After that, masuk ler rumah. Time ni bedebar tuhan je yang tahu. Tgh2 bedebar tu ingat bulihlah my girl tolong break the ice ke hape. Ini dak. Berdesup dia g dapur terus leaving me all alone. Hahah. Ok ler. Her dad was cool. Her aunt also was there and she didn't say a word to me that evenin so i guess she's cool as well. Heheh. Borak2, sembang2,makan2 tibe2...

Alamak,nak balik dulu lah. perut lapor. nanti sampai umah aku sambung citer..Tata!

Current mood : HUNGRY! Btw, This was a draft since sunday hence the referral to the day. Now Wednesday oledi. Solly no time! HUhuh

So Long....................................................and The End

Another remorseful event,another post

Nak story la sikit. Semalam jumpa my ex nak tarik kereta. Yes,it was a cruel event on my part. Memang x sampai hati sangat-sangat nak tarik tapi it's the thing i gotta do for our best outcome.

Memang out of 10 people i asked, 10 people would say it's best if i tarik je kereta no matter how inhumane that would be. It's supposed to be the first step of moving on. PArting with all of your ex's belongings.

Sampai-sampai tengok dia sorang. I kinda secretly was hoping she brought a friend to ease the awkwardness. But i acted casual.In fact i wasn't acting. I was being as nice as possible because i knew she's in the worst position than i was.Then tanya sepatah,jawab sepatah la for several minutes. Than we gaduh2 about something. Aku naik darah pasal,well,let that be a secret. Next thing i know, i realised it's not worth fighting anymore. Let it be over tonight.So i continued into my friendly mode.

Then we grabbed a dinner. I was dead hungry so the thing i gotta do.Hahah.She didn't eat anything. Just was staring at her phone doing God knows what the entire time. Nak selit gak. Makan laksa tapi x letak limau padahal hanyir semacam. Nak kena mintak gak ke limau tu. Aishh.Seb baiklah x letak cili api after dah diwarning awal-awal. Get back to the story, then i drove her to UPM hostel. I reminded her to take all of her stuff coz after this cannot jumpa dah. After got there, she went upstairs and brought down all the shit i ever gave to her. It's understandable if that what it took for her to forget about me. So no comment on my part.

Check2,eh..ade lak cacat cela keta tu while she was using it so she said claim balik. Aku malas nak bising2 coz in this case, better just fix first and claim later.

Then bye2.Selesai sudah. It was weird coz at that time, i knew we would met again even though i didn't know when. Drove to my home afterwards, stop at gas station sedar2 tgk ade miss call from the whom i just told you. Why lor? Apparently ade lagi barang tinggal. Naik darah gak lah aku sekejap but the thing i gotta do, just drove back to UPM. we met again. This time i was sure this was the last time coz all the signs were there. Not from her or me but our fate came to visit and clearly saying,this would be the last time you ever meet her.With all the wind blowing and chilly cold night breeze. So i was just being cool. She was,well,about to burst crying. It was sombre moment i admit but i was clueless.

Then she confessed to everything. everything she hated about me, everything she loved about me, everything what our future would hold if we were still together and worst what she had planned for us that i didn't know of. Basically just all the best-hits recap from her mouth while I stay silent the entire time. However. The worst part to hear was how she's doing now.

Apparently out of respect, i can just say not well.

Yes, i did all this to her. And all the other girls i ever dated. While she was saying all this, i thought all the worst,worst thing i ever did to all of my ex. Heartless, ignorant, an ass just to name a few. How i remember i was on a date with this girl that came all the way down from Kedah and i didn't say a word to her the entire date because i was mad about,well, i don't know what. Yes, i was a heartbreaker. So right then and there, i promise myself to treat woman as they should be. With respect, care, love and understanding. yes, this wasn't the way i hoped to learn about myself but i sincerely thank you sebab luahkan semua. Itulah pengajaran terbesar saya dari the unlikely teacher of life, my ex. I hope both of us find the happiness that we forever looking for. And yes. Goodbye was hard. Who would've thought that was the ending of us. It was like a scene of a movie. For that, i forever cherished what we had.

Current mood: Farewell and goodbye

She's Not That Into You la Dude..HUHU

Another thought, another new post..

Maybe from my previous posts, some of you know I am already single again. So sekarang sesi bersingle pulak. Also not forgetting try looking for girls. Yes. It’s one of the hard part..Looking. MMmmhm.

So far only one girl caught my eyes. I liked her dearly to my heart and we ‘were’ close. Yes, were..Not anymore though. I was so smitten by this girl and liked her a lot but now, I think maybe she’s not that into me.

Before, kitaorang slalu hang out and borak about nothing but nowadays, not anymore. Maybe all this time aku yang tepuk sebelah tangan so perasan we were matched and sparks were all over the over the place. Apparently, all that cuma in my head. But not in her’s. MMmm. Too bad because I find this girl so amazing in every way. Xpelah. Xde jodoh. Aku pon silap. X berani nak mintak couple lagi coz one of my friend suggest, x elok lah kapel ngan orang baru cepat sangat after break up.MMMM. Tunggu2 melepas sudah. She got bored with me already. Hahah. Susah gak kalo berkenan ngan orang yang cepat boring ngan kita ek. Baru teringat nak mintak couple tibe2 tuan punya badan dah siap larik. Ahahh. Big 'L' sign on my head..!!HOHO

Sebenarnya, may I say this happened before. Somewhere long time ago I was approached by this amazing girl. And then, xtau la we slalu sembang for hours, joked around. As if we were the perfect fit. And then tibe2 dia menjauhkan diri. I never had the courage to ask her why. But somehow she came to me and said, she got back with her boyfriend. And apparently people were gossiping about us and she hated it. HAhah. Joke on me. Perfect fit by me, while an embarrassment for her. Basically, I’m just her loser rebound. HUHU.Ok. Cite ni not quite similar la dengan kes sekarang ni but dua-dua have something in common where the girl apparently not that into me. Haha. Sad but true..BUHOOO T-T

So here I am single with no potential girlfriend at all. Malu jugak la baru share kat my ex yang I really,really like this girl but tup,tup she doesn’t like me..mmm. Tapi xpelah. That’s the hard part of dating. Sometime you’re lucky and sometime your face ended up in the dirt. Can i say what's next? Ntahla. Maybe patot luah dulu perasaan aku kat dia sebelom move forward but tengok dah x rapat camni, pk dua kali gak lah..

Current Mood : Tibe-tibe rasa nak create profile and promot diri kat dating site..Boleh..?Hahah. Cant stand the pressure already.

It Is Time

Another confession, Another posting!

Finally, the moment that i have been awaiting for has arrived. I have been waiting for it berminggu-minggu to get over my ex. I did this by not speaking and meeting her since aku mintak putus. And now, even rasa kesian pon tidak. I know it sounds cruel but kesian was the last part left for us after love and sayang was gone.

It was good in two years. And kinda bad at times as well. But it was definitely not working anymore at my age. Dah dua tahun pon aku x boleh nampak dia as my wife so baik lah aku lepaskan dia. Biar masing-masing carik pasangan baru pulak.

Aku pon frankly dah malas dah nak dikaitkan dengan dia. Sebab the decision wasn't mutual i guess eloklah masing2 bawak haluan sendiri tanpa kekal berkawan. I only managed tuk berkawan ngan only one of my ex because yes, we broke up mutually. Tapi sekarang gaduh sikit coz aku marah dia sebab sebok ngan MLM yang aku benar2 anti. Tapi x sedar lagi tuh. Harap-harap kalo dah sedar MLM x menjamin apa2, insyaallah akan berbaik semula.HAHAH. Sedih la tengok melayu tumbang ngan MLM pasal nak dapat duit mudah. HUHUH. Betul orang kata.MLM even boleh putuskan hubungan kawan tuh.

So here i am officially tutup buku of my past relationship. I guess i won't feel guilty anymore kalo nak carik pengganti. Bittersweet lah. And eager to start my new life without the obligation of feeling guilty anymore.

BTW, reason aku dah benar-benar lupakan dia? After rasa pelik klua citer macam-macam padahal aku jumpa and cakap ngan dia pon idak dah. Citer dalam blog ni pon aku sekadar bagi overview yang sungguh x over.Adeh..Kang aku citer detail-detail kang baru ko tau malu. Tapi nasib baik aku bukan orang yang sebegitu. :) Poyo je konon kata jangan cite kat FB tp tengok dia gak yang gigih. Aku satu post pasal dia pon x penah since broke up. HAIZZ.

Current mood: Baru lepas main dengan Baby Aisha. Hyper benar budak ni. Abeh urat tulang kerat aku dikerjakan.HAhA.

Post break Up: How Soon To Get Back Out There?

Another thought, another new posting.

I hate it when i have to break bad news in the opening of a posting. But it's something i gotta do to make this posting any relevant to my story. Yes. I am finally broke up with my ex. It wasn't mutual but it was an ugly break up at first followed by mutual understanding on both party. At least that's what i am hoping for. I have decided to left the relationship because it wasn't working for me anymore. Had been trying so long but the fact remains, we have nothing in common and i finally realized she wasn't the one. I was a complete wreck since months before we broke up. I snapped at her easily and i finally recognized what was wrong, i was unhappy. There were several causes that lead to my unhappiness but i decided i wouldn't share that thought. I do not even have the energy and the spirit to work at it again. To sum up, i was done with the relationship.

So here i am, single again. Not that long. Just over a month ago. There were pleas from my ex to work at our relationship again but not for me. I have decided to be single again. At least for a portion of time. Let's be honest. I'm not getting younger so my needs to get married is at all time high hence the breakup. No need to stuck in a dead-end relationship anymore so i took a ditch.

However i wonder, how soon can i get into the game back? And is there any ladies out there interested in me anymore? And bila lagi nak kahwin if i have to date first? And what if the next relationship don't work out? HUHUH...

Current mood : It's morning so you betcha it's good. : )

Unhappy Lately

Lepas satu,satu ujian menimpa aku bulan ni...I swear to God, the toll of pressure is killing me. At least, one problem dah solved for the time being. Aku decided nak patch things up with my girlfriend balik coz i think dapat lah kurangkan one problem..Tapi aku still marah dalam hati coz dia cuba nak amek ringan bende2 yang aku marahkan aritu..SUDAH.MALAS PIKIAQ DAH..



Sekarang ni pulak masalah duit..Aiya..Benci betul kalo masalah duit ni..I have to refuse everything now kalo sesape mengajak keluar..Lagi-lagi sekarang kena bawak keta daily g keje, abeh la depleting duit-duit aku mcm ayaq. So i moved to closer home which is KL. This house belongs to my mum so we all bachelor bros can stay..But i do not like it here. It's very dirty and sunyi. Everybody is doing his/her own business so i feel really bored here.Thank God for the free WiFi..

And then i do not know why, my belly really gotten fatter lately. I think the stress really caught up with my health. With receding hours for sleeping, huge amount of work , having dinner really late after work and depleting cash amount, my belly decided to opt for growth option..LOL. So this month i want to renew myself sempena new year kalendar konvensional and kalendar Islam..Hopefully, this is not gonna be another failure..BLAST OFF!!!

Break things off.............

I had a huge fight with my girlfriend recently..Actually, i am kind of sick of the little things she can change but too reluctant to do so.Actually, i am done with that. How can the little things can ruin our relationship you ask? Is it because i am too fussy and cannot accept those little things? No and No.First of all, they are not little things. They are huge. One can change how i feel about her. So i have the right to 'nag'about it. And why am i not accepting those little things? The same answer i gave at the above applied to this question.

So am i about to break things off? I seriously do not know.I hate those 'little things' but i love everything else about her. But she never has the heart to change those 'little things' for my sake. These 'little things' are not hard to change. It is not a personality thing but more like a habit thing. U can change a habit right? I did.Among the hardest habit of all which is SMOKING.

Therefore, iam in quite a pickle right now..Accepting those 'little things' are hard for me because i have grown to hate them every single day and every single mention.