This is an improvised entry taken from http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/6-ways-your-ego-will-kill-your-relationship/1668/. Credit to the guy!
It's great that we have found our true love, but it’s equally critical to maintaining and continually improving a relationship once you’re already in it. Killing it is even easier! Nothing will kill a relationship more quickly than ego. Here are some points to look at what I mean.
1. Resist The Temptation To Defend Yourself
How many times you’ve fought with a significant other, and whenever things get a little heated yoAll you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “defending yourself” mode. u start to defend yourself? Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s really happening is your ego is defending itself.
At the same time it also means that you’ve stopped listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending yourself? It will almost always create a MUCH better outcome.
From my past relationship, I took this road more often than not. Ask all my past girlfriends and they would all agree. It speaks for who i was and still am. I am worst when someone pass judgment on me and worst of all, they're right on the money. So I defended myself at all cause. Even with a hurtful comebacks. I would be great lawyer I supposed but I'll be a greater demon when it comes to a relationship. Huhu.
2.Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation
The truth is that no matter how much hope for a good conversation with your significant other, your ego is the one thing that will consistently ruin any conversation you’re about to have if you let it.
Let’s say your significant other is frustrated with you in one way or another and really needs to express something about that to you. How do you respond? If you let your ego get involved and you defend yourself, it means that you’re not listening to them.
In order to really listen to somebody, it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes your significant other has things that are really bothering them about which they want to talk to you, but which you would rather not hear. To maintain a great relationship, however, you can’t let your ego keep you from really listening.
2. Dropping The Ego Doesn’t Mean You Need To Change Who You Are
It can take a lot for you to drop the ego, really listen to your significant other and realize that they need you say something in a different way or understand how the way you communicate may make them feel a certain way. A lot of people misunderstand these kind of requests as being their significant other’s attempt to change them. It’s not.
They’re not trying to change you, they are trying to improve the way you communicate with each other. They are trying to get the two of you to be able to communicate better than you ever have in the past. Don’t let your ego get in the way. Embrace this!
3. Ego Causes Those 'Cakap Lepas' Which Are The Biggest Relationship Killers
Do you get frustrated when you’re having an argument with a significant other? Of course, we all do. When that happens, though, sometimes the ego will cause you to hurl 'Cakap Lepas' at the other person.
You’re feeling hurt, so you lash out and say something you know will make the other person hurt too. It was not only hurtful, but inevitably something stupid. By listening to your significant other, instead of lashing out from your ego, you can get through an argument without these low blows and they will be much more constructive (and not destructive to your relationship).
Often happen with my significant other. From dulu2 till now. I give you one HARMLESS example. While waiting for a traffic light with my girlfriend in her car, i mistakenly put the gear into Neutral instead of Drive. The car went backward for like 2 seconds and almost hit the car behind us because we were upwards the hillside. Lucky i managed to hit the brake but those 2 seconds i was sorta like dreaming. Then my gf yelled and my ego straight to defensive mode rather than admit to my mistake. You know what i said? Your car have a malfunction brake and the neutral gear didn't hold our car. How stupid was I?
So the next time you see your ego getting involved in your relationship, get rid of it! If you find yourself defending yourself or not allowing you to really listen, then you need to take a step back. Listen carefully to what’s really being said, and use it to create the most amazing relationship. If you're reading this and the ego get in the way to improve yourself, then get a shrink ASAP! :P
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