Nak story la sikit. Semalam jumpa my ex nak tarik kereta. Yes,it was a cruel event on my part. Memang x sampai hati sangat-sangat nak tarik tapi it's the thing i gotta do for our best outcome.
Memang out of 10 people i asked, 10 people would say it's best if i tarik je kereta no matter how inhumane that would be. It's supposed to be the first step of moving on. PArting with all of your ex's belongings.
Sampai-sampai tengok dia sorang. I kinda secretly was hoping she brought a friend to ease the awkwardness. But i acted casual.In fact i wasn't acting. I was being as nice as possible because i knew she's in the worst position than i was.Then tanya sepatah,jawab sepatah la for several minutes. Than we gaduh2 about something. Aku naik darah pasal,well,let that be a secret. Next thing i know, i realised it's not worth fighting anymore. Let it be over tonight.So i continued into my friendly mode.
Then we grabbed a dinner. I was dead hungry so the thing i gotta do.Hahah.She didn't eat anything. Just was staring at her phone doing God knows what the entire time. Nak selit gak. Makan laksa tapi x letak limau padahal hanyir semacam. Nak kena mintak gak ke limau tu. Aishh.Seb baiklah x letak cili api after dah diwarning awal-awal. Get back to the story, then i drove her to UPM hostel. I reminded her to take all of her stuff coz after this cannot jumpa dah. After got there, she went upstairs and brought down all the shit i ever gave to her. It's understandable if that what it took for her to forget about me. So no comment on my part.
Check2,eh..ade lak cacat cela keta tu while she was using it so she said claim balik. Aku malas nak bising2 coz in this case, better just fix first and claim later.
Then bye2.Selesai sudah. It was weird coz at that time, i knew we would met again even though i didn't know when. Drove to my home afterwards, stop at gas station sedar2 tgk ade miss call from the whom i just told you. Why lor? Apparently ade lagi barang tinggal. Naik darah gak lah aku sekejap but the thing i gotta do, just drove back to UPM. we met again. This time i was sure this was the last time coz all the signs were there. Not from her or me but our fate came to visit and clearly saying,this would be the last time you ever meet her.With all the wind blowing and chilly cold night breeze. So i was just being cool. She was,well,about to burst crying. It was sombre moment i admit but i was clueless.
Then she confessed to everything. everything she hated about me, everything she loved about me, everything what our future would hold if we were still together and worst what she had planned for us that i didn't know of. Basically just all the best-hits recap from her mouth while I stay silent the entire time. However. The worst part to hear was how she's doing now.
Apparently out of respect, i can just say not well.
Yes, i did all this to her. And all the other girls i ever dated. While she was saying all this, i thought all the worst,worst thing i ever did to all of my ex. Heartless, ignorant, an ass just to name a few. How i remember i was on a date with this girl that came all the way down from Kedah and i didn't say a word to her the entire date because i was mad about,well, i don't know what. Yes, i was a heartbreaker. So right then and there, i promise myself to treat woman as they should be. With respect, care, love and understanding. yes, this wasn't the way i hoped to learn about myself but i sincerely thank you sebab luahkan semua. Itulah pengajaran terbesar saya dari the unlikely teacher of life, my ex. I hope both of us find the happiness that we forever looking for. And yes. Goodbye was hard. Who would've thought that was the ending of us. It was like a scene of a movie. For that, i forever cherished what we had.
Current mood: Farewell and goodbye
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